一、你知道一个人究竟有多爽吗？像我一个人可以睡一整张床，被子也只属于我自己，不像你们这些有对象的，要两个人挤一张床，盖一床被子。 Do you know how great it is to be alone? For example, I can sleep in a whole bed by myself, and the quilt only belongs to me, unlike those of you who have a date, who need two people to squeeze into a bed and cover one quilt.
二、其实每天早上也不是起不来，主要就是因为我这个人比较富有同情心，我怕我起来以后，床会感到很孤独，所以说怎么办呢？ In fact, every morning is not to get up, mainly because I this person is more compassionate, I am afraid I get up, the bed will feel very lonely, so how to say?
三、你总是抱怨在这十几亿的人中都找不到你的对象，可是你有没有想过，在你学生时代，一个数学题里有四个选项你都找不到一个正确的，所以有什么好抱怨的呢？都是命啊！ You always complain about being unable to find your partner in a billion people, but did you ever wonder, when you were a student, you couldn't find the right answer to all four choices in a math problem, so what's to complain about? It's all fate!
四、在朋友圈总是看到大家各种炫耀自己新买的车，我一生气反手就给自己买了一辆劳斯莱斯，可是令我伤心的是，在回家的路上，一不小心掉到地上摔出了两节电。 In the circle of friends always see all kinds of people show off their new cars, I got angry and bought a Rolls-Royce for themselves, but to my sadness, on the way home, accidentally fell to the ground fell out of two energy-saving electricity. 五、最近的烦心事好像有点多，我觉得我这个小小宇宙世界已经快要被这些事情压垮了！ The recent troubles seem to be a little much, I feel that my small universe has been overwhelmed by these things!
六、吵架的时候，总会有一些令人尴尬的瞬间，就比如说今天我跟别人吵架一激动就把“滚啊”两个字说成了“呱”，那一瞬间我就知道，好像今天这一架我的气势又败给了别人。 When we quarrel, there will always be some embarrassing moments, for example, today I quarrel with others on the excitement of the "roll" two words said "gung", that moment I know, as if today this one of my momentum and lost to others.
七、想问你们一个问题，你们跟男朋友出去吃饭的时是希望对面坐？还是希望坐你旁边？其实吧，我主要是喜欢他们能够围着我坐一圈，哈哈哈哈… Let me ask you a question. When you go out to dinner with your boyfriends, do you want to sit across from each other? Or would you rather sit next to you? Actually, the main thing I like is that they can sit around me lol……
八、我至今单身，主要是因为我觉得目前为止我还没有发现有人能够入得了我这个共产主义接班人的眼。 I'm still single, mainly because I don't think I've found anyone who can catch my eye as the heir to communism.
九、马上就要结束我三月份的单身生活了，下面我宣布即将迎来我四月份的单身生活。 I'm going to be single for the month of March, and I'm going to be single for the month of April.
十、我觉得其实真正的友谊是来源于朋友之间那种不断的问候，就比如说今天早上我祝大家早上好，也顺便祝大家永远单身，哈哈哈哈… In fact, I think true friendship comes from the constant greetings between friends. For example, this morning I wish everyone good morning, and by the way, I wish everyone single forever, hahaha
十一、单身了20多年，如果今年的桃花还不开的话，那么我就想跟它说不用开了，待到来年春天，老子自己种桃花林。 I have been single for more than 20 years. If this year's peach blossom still doesn't blossom, then I want to tell it that there is no need to blossom. In the next spring, I will plant peach blossom forest by myself.